Mind Set

Definition:

• A particular way of thinking.
• A person’s attitude or set of opinions about something (or themselves).
• A mental inclination, tendency or habit.

Lately, I have been writing about taking hold of what the Bible says about me instead of what I say about myself.  I have been adjusting my way of thinking but I hadn’t noticed any real changes until this weekend.

Old mind set: 

• I don’t know enough.
• I don’t have the right equipment/tools.
• I don’t have enough money.

Notice the common denominator I?  (Or I could have used the ‘I can’ts’.)  I am pretty sure I know 95% of the ‘I don’ts’ and because of past circumstances, I formed the habit of using them as an excuse about everything (even some things I knew I could do).  I have two friends who have really been nagging me about it.  Evidently, it’s finally started sinking in.

Saturday, I attended the Christian Writer’s Conference at East Texas Baptist University.  I worked in the book shop (thank you very much, Vickie) and sat in on two of the workshops.  As the speakers were talking about the ways they market their books, articles and themselves I thought, I can do that. 

Whoa!!  Talk about radical change.  Of course, this blog was a major step in the right direction.  Still…  Writing a blog from the obscurity of my home is not the same as getting out there and tooting my own horn.  I know I need to do it but…I’m definitely old school when it comes to that. Yet, I self-published my books because even if I had gotten published by a ‘big house’, I would have had to do all my own marketing, anyway.  

So the change?

New mind set (a work in progress):

• What I don’t know, I can learn.
• I have enough to start and can obtain the rest as I go.
• God is my source; He will provide.

I know; ‘bout time.

Holding Patterns

There is nothing worse for a writer than a blank piece of paper.  All that whiteness can be daunting.  Like the sand along the seashore or the sky kissing the ocean, it goes on and on into nothingness.  Like the sheer drop off a mountain cliff with nothing but swirling clouds below.  Like the vast open arctic tundra’s eternity of snow…  I think you get the picture.

Last week, I talked about my dreams having to shift and change.  That I didn't know which way to go but I know Someone who does.  This is where the rubber meets the road because sometimes we have clear direction and sometimes we are in a holding pattern.  From my vast experience, I can tell you that holding patterns are often aggravating, discouraging, and anxiety ladened.  And it can be very annoying to see the same scenery over and over again.  But that’s only if I let it be.  If I choose to rest in God, a holding pattern can be a time of refreshing, slowing down, gathering my strength, learning to appreciate the stillness and hearing His still small voice.

And just like the writer who knows where the story begins, ends and all the pitfalls between, God has my complete life laid out before Him.  Because of where I stand, all I see is sand; He sees the driftwood, seashells and seaweed washed up on shore.  I see sky and ocean; He sees the shark stalking its prey or the dolphin breaching the surface in play.  I see swirling clouds; He sees the soaring eagle and the bounding mountain lion.  I see an eternity of snow; He sees the arctic rabbit and fox.

I am well aware that a lot of my holding patterns were my own fault.  I was there because God was moving over me (where I could not see) to make the crooked path I had created straight so I could, once again, move toward my goal.  Then there are holding patterns like this one.  I did not create it but I’m here. 

After Jesus was crucified, Peter said “I go a fishing’.  We often vilify him for returning to the life he knew before he met Jesus.  But, we need to remember that Jesus had not yet told them to wait in Jerusalem for the baptism of the Holy Spirit.  Nor had He told them to go into all the world and preach the gospel.  Peter knew one thing—Jesus had found him fishing the first time; He would do it again.  Jesus did and the Bible never says He scolded Peter for returning to his boat.

So, like Peter, I will stay here and do what I know to do.  God knows where I am and when the time is right, He will show me the way to go.

Square One

In the blog HOPE, I spoke about waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.  Today’s question, what do you do when it does?

In the past, I would have

1. had a major pity party in the privacy of my home
2. had all joy knocked out of me
3. allowed all hope to fade
4. packed my dreams away in the steel vault of my heart
5. and thought ‘here I am back to square one.’ 

I’m definitely working on #1.  But, 2-4?  No! Not anymore.  My joy is not based on my circumstances; it’s based on my choice.  Same with hope.  My dreams will have to shift, maybe take a different direction but it took me a long time to drag these dreams kicking and screaming out of that deep, dark vault.  I refuse to put them back.

I find it a bit ironic that Sunday morning I asked the ladies’ prayer group to lay hands on me and pray for wisdom, especially where my words are concerned.  It was pow-er-ful.  Then Sunday afternoon, the shoe dropped.   

Psalms 37:4 says, ‘Delight thyself also in the Lord: and He shall give you the desires of your heart’.  I know the desires of my heart (dreams) are from the God.  I have settled that.  I’m not sure where to go from here but I know Someone who does.

So, square one.  I have realized there is no such thing as starting over or being back at square one.  It might look the same, it might feel the same, it might even smell the same but it isn’t.  Why?  Me.  I am never the same.  Especially this time.  I have learned so much and come so far over the last seven years; square one cannot be the same.

Those who know me know how much I hate sudden changes.  Was I prepared for this one? not even faintly.  Will I get past it? definitely. 

Now I see square one for what it really is; a stepping stone in a new direction.  

In Christ Alone

Sunday, a Facebook friend posted a video of David Wesley singing “In Christ Alone” acapella.  He sings every part.  It is awesome.  So at 2:30 Tuesday morning when leg pain set me to walking the floor, I pulled the video up and listened again (at least 10 times).  I had forgotten just how powerful the words are.  It is one of the most comprehensive songs about the Christian life from salvation to death.  I wish you could have been there with me as the presence of God filled my house.  The song speaks for itself so I leave you with the words and a link to the video.

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Could ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Words & Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

David Wesley "In Christ Alone"

Sticking with Family

Well, once again it is the wee hours of the morning.  The pain is still there but the attitude is different.  Had a long talk with a friend last night who reminded me that I am a woman of faith.  That might sound like a ‘duh’ statement.  I mean, I have been saved and endeavoring to walk with God for a long time.  But…sometimes, when situations overwhelm us, we need a little reminder of just who we are in Christ. 

That’s where good friends come in and why we need one another so much.  Trying to be an island puts us in a lonely venerable place.  It leaves us open to depression, discouragement and soul gripping loneliness.  Trying to walk out our Christianity alone leaves us open to all kinds of attacks and deception.  That is why the Bible says to not forsake church fellowship, especially in the last days (Hebrews 10:25).

We need good friends who will bear us up, hold up our hands like Aaron and Hur did for Moses in the fight against Amalek (Exodus 17:12).  The kind who will make every step we make like Ruth did for Naomi (Ruth 1:16).  The kind who will sing harmony like Silas did for Paul when neither one of them felt like singing (Acts 1:22-25).   That’s where the church family comes in.

I can hear it now, “But there are so many hypocrites going to that church”.  Maybe, but that doesn’t mean we stop going.  We don’t stop going to the grocery store because there are hypocrites there, do we?  We don’t stop going to work, sporting events or vacations because of hypocrites, do we?  Then why do we think it is a good excuse to skip out on church?

Let me ask this question—are you perfect?  I’m not and every time I walk into my church, I take my imperfections with me.  In my last blog, I said “Have I actually implemented the changes?  Honestly?  Some things, yes; some things, no.”.  Don't the ‘nos’ make me a hypocrite?  

Years ago, Shawn and I were talking about church and he pulled out the hypocrite card.  I ask “Do you think I am a Christian?”  He quickly said “Yes”.  Then I asked “Well, am I perfect?”  He laughed and said “No”.  To which I said, “All those people are just like me.”  I never heard the hypocrite excuse again.

In the church family, we’re all a work in progress.  I need the grace of my church family as I walk out my salvation and they need mine.  I need their encouragement when I hit the rough patches and I need to be encouraging when they are in theirs. 

That’s what families do; we stick together.

Put up or shut up

It’s hard to believe this is my 28^th blog post.  (I know I shouldn’t admit this but) What surprises me most is how much I have enjoyed it.  In my very first blog, I talked about feeling like anything I said would be stupid, who would want to read it…etc.  Now I realize, it doesn’t matter. 

Yes, I would like for my blog to be widely read.  Yes, I would like to receive favorable comments (A big thanks to all who have commented.  They are encouraging).  Yes, I would like for my readers to walk away with something—hope, encouragement, a smile.  But the most important thing is obedience.  I am called to write and blogging is something I should have been doing as soon as I became technologically able. 

Through the years, I have gone from pen and paper to typewriter, word processor and computer.  I have used carbon paper, whiteout and the delete button (a lot).  I’ve gone from snail mail to email to the cloud.  Several things have changed over the years but one thing hasn’t.  I am never more satisfied than when the characters in my head come to life and spill their story out into the world.  It is a bone-deep, soul-hunger satisfaction. 

Do I get frustrated when my characters want to go a different direction than I was planning?  Certainly!  Staring at a blank screen while waiting for them to decide what comes next is never a good place to be (arguing never helps).  Are there times when the business of writing seems overwhelming?  Absolutely.  But none of that alters the satisfaction.

So, where does the put up or shut up come in?  In this blog, I have been chronicling the changes in my life in the last two years.  Most of them lead to an ‘I need to change’ decision. Have I actually implemented the changes?  Honestly?  Some things, yes; some things, no.

These last few weeks, lack of sleep and pain have been my constant companion.  Once again, I was walking the floor at 3:30 a.m. speaking scriptures over myself and God brought to mind some of my blogs.  It was an ah-hah moment.  In the past, when I hit a wall like this I would back down (shut up); not believe I could overcome or was good enough for God to move in my behalf.   

He asked one simple question; ‘This time, are you ready to move on?’ (put up). 

The move is on.

Hope

Hope—a wish or desire accompanied by 

confident expectation of its fulfillment.

Hope is a huge word full of promise.  It has infinite ripple effects in our lives.  When we see a future; a light at the end of the tunnel; that this too shall pass, it gives us the strength to carry on.  Hope is infectious, contagious, always beneficial.  One ray of hope will spread and others will gain strength from it.

Hopelessness is also a huge word but it is devoid of promise.  It, too, has infinite ripple effects in our lives.  It is also infectious and contagious but it is never beneficial.  When all we see is darkness ahead; that nothing will change; a mind numbing never-ending sameness, it saps us of all energy for life.

We cannot control outside forces.  This is a common statement but do we really take it to heart?  Or are we still inclined to blame fate or karma (or God) for our circumstances?

This question has been on my mind lately.  In the past 6 years, my life has changed a lot (a lot, a lot, a lot).  Most of the changes have been good.  I have lost weight, published 2 books, moved into a newer trailer and made a few forever friends. 

Still…past experience has taught me that none of it will last, none of it will matter in the end, all of it will slowly fade along with all my dreams.  Fatalistic, right? and a major downer (see, told you I had drama queen tendencies).  Carole (ex-mother-in-law, good friend) has been fussing at me lately because of it (God’s been on my case about it, too).  In our last conversation I realized that although all of these good things have happened, I was waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.  I also realized that trying to encourage others when there is no true hope in me has a hollow ring to it that they can clearly hear.  I’ve heard it myself from others. 

1 Peter 3:15 says, But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.

I’m sorry to say that no one has asked me that question lately.  It’s time to change that.