Selfishness

But, what if…I fail, I mess up, I hurt somebody or the Kingdom and it’s not fixable… 

I was convinced if I tried at all, I would mess everything up so badly there would be no fixing it and people would end up in hell because of it. 

Of course that is not true.  God is quite capable of fixing any mistake I make. 

Plus, each person makes their own choice about heaven or hell, life or death,

Jesus or not.  The Bible says we are without excuse (Romans 1:20).  Does that completely let me off the hook? No.  I am still responsible for my mistake.

Circumstances helped convince me no one wanted to hear what I had to say. 

I realized at a young age that keeping my mouth shut was the best way to deal

with just about everything. 

I was convinced that if I opened my mouth, I would offend someone so badly they would turn their back on God.

So, I became almost silent about Him; in essence, making the choice for those

around me.  Not good because then it is all on me.

The Holy Spirit finally pointed out how much I was focused on myself (Uh…duh, right?).  I would have told you I was concerned about everyone else and about not embarrassing God or the Kingdom.  He called it selfishness.  OUCH!

Selfishness comes in all sizes, shapes and forms.  I was so focused on my faults and failures (self-ishness) that I was only existing instead of living.  Of course, I thought I was being humble.  I’ve said it before; true humility is agreeing with God.  Do you see any agreement with God in the paragraphs above?  Neither do I.

Watch out!  Years of habitual silence can be hard to break but I am working on it.