Regret 2

Last December I blogged about how living in regret had colored my whole life.  I decided it was time for an update. 

I can say that I have come a long way in the last nine months.  I can sing the old songs now without going into a blue funk over my past.  In last week’s blog, I said the Holy Spirit has been repeatedly tapping me on the shoulder lately.  There is a difference this time and I know it’s because my attitude (there’s that word) is different.  I don’t automatically start beating myself up because I've failed yet again. 

Beating myself up put me in a place where the Spirit couldn't help me because I would make it all about me.  You know; I’m not good enough, I don’t do enough, I don’t know enough, I’m such a sorry human being . 

The litany could go on but I don’t live there anymore.  How do I know?  Last Monday I took myself to see a movie.  I briefly looked it up online but about half-way in, I realized I should have dug a little deeper.  Sigh…  Not because I am beating myself up over the mistake, I repented.  I was forgiven.  No, the sigh was because I could have used my money to see something else.  It was only last night as I was reading in Psalms that it came back into my mind.  Total surprise.  I had actually let it go; put it behind me and moved forward.  I hadn't let it become a constant reminder of my failure like I would have in the past.

I call that progress.  I call that freedom.