Stories

It was a dark and stormy night…  I started one of my first stories like that.  Of course I followed it with…I know it sounds like a B movie but it really was.  There was a hurricane blowing in and the electricity was out...

I love a good story, always have.  By the time I was in junior high, I was checking books out of the high school library.  I have a book with me almost everywhere I go.  I'm a little old fashioned, I still like the feel of a book in my hand.  I like browsing the aisles.  Reading the blurbs.  Getting to know the book (and author) before I take it to the counter.

Being a writer, I unashamedly admit I often eavesdrop on conversations around me.  (You just never know where that next great plot twist might come from.)  And as I’ve gotten wiser (no laughing), I try my best to stop all forward thought and pay close attention when someone I’m with begins a personal story.  (I have a friend who unexpectedly throws them into a conversation so it’s great practice.)   I can learn so much good stuff if I just listen.  But I know I have missed a lot over the years because of youth, self-centeredness or plain stupidity.    

I had a great uncle that hoboed during the great depression.  He was a big man who played a mean harmonica and danced a lively jig.  A truck farmer until cancer made him too weak to push a hand plow, he was in his 70’s when he died.  I know he told me stories but I don’t remember them.  What a waste.

His wife was the family keeper.  She knew everybody, who they married, where they came from, how many kids they had, who they married…you get the picture.  Did we get any of that down on paper?  No.  Shame of us.

My sister gave Mom a notebook and some pens and asked her to write down stories from her youth.  She started and quit.  Said it was too hard on her to remember all the rough times they had.  Months before she died, she pulled it out and read what she had written.  Her comment:  ‘I wish I had kept writing.  Now, I don’t remember.’   We lost so much.

Yes, it’s hard to focus (and not roll your eyes) when someone starts in on the same story you’ve heard at least a thousand times.  Yes, it hard to pay attention when the story doesn’t seem relevant to today.  But it can be so worth it.  As a person gets older, their memories about their youth often becomes clearer and they just might add things you’ve never heard before.  So listen:  with both ears, with all your heart.  It’s well worth it.

Who Defines Me?

A lot of things have happened in the past several years that have up-rooted some long held beliefs I had about myself.  Some of them I have blogged about.  My first blog, Am I Ready, talked about letting go of the iron control I tried to have over my life.  Then there was Never Too Old to Start and The Mouth Speaks. 

I was (FB) chatting with a friend and he said ‘we are to tear down every perception of ourselves that doesn’t agree with God’ (2 Corinthians 10:5).  I have often quoted that scripture but never in connection with what I thought about myself.  Hence the question, who defines me?

According to God when I became a Christian, old things passed away and I became a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17).  I must admit that I haven’t viewed myself that way.  I have always seen myself as the old me trying to become a better me to please God.  Per 2 Cor. 10:5, that doesn’t line up with God’s view of me so I am supposed to cast it down and accept that I am a new creature.

According to God when I became a Christian, He made Jesus sin and me the righteousness of God.  Yeah, right!  But…per 2 Cor. 10:5, that doesn’t line up with God’s view of me so I am supposed to cast it down and accept that He has made me the righteousness of God.

According to God when I became a Christian, I became a conqueror (Romans 8:37).  You have GOT to be kidding, right?  Yet…per 2 Cor. 10:5, that doesn’t line up with God’s view of me so I am supposed to cast it down and accept that I am a conqueror.

According to God when I became a Christian, I gained the ability to do all things through Christ (the anointing) that strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).  I hate to say it but I have definitely not seen myself this way.  Years of don’t know enough, not good enough, not-not-not-not-NOT…you get the picture.  But…per 2 Cor. 10:5, that doesn’t line up with God’s view of me so I am supposed to cast it down and accept that through Him, I can do all things.

Remember last week I said that being humble before God simply means agreeing with Him?  Does that mean that all this time I have been seeing myself as something different from what the Word says I am I have been walking in pride and arrogance?  (Ouch!) 

When my friend said that, I realized I have been letting all manner of things (past hurts, people’s opinions, disappointments, etc.) define me.  I can’t do that anymore.  That one statement demanded that I pursue a serious study of who the Word says that I am and take an active role in lining up with it.  How? by allowing the Word to work to renew my mind (Romans 12:2).

Time to get started.  

How Many?

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

This is probably one of the most often quoted scriptures in the Bible.  Yet, it seems to be one of the least believed in.  Why would I say that?  Let’s examine it.

If my people...  Not the whole country, state, region, county, city or even church; just my people called by my name.  For some reason we have it in our head that revival must come before God moves.  Isn’t God moving the revival? 

shall humble themselves…  Notice this is something the people do; not God; yet time and time again, I hear people asking God to humble them.  To humble yourself simply means to agree with God.  We picture a humble person as someone who cowers, head down groveling in the dirt.  The biblical picture of a humble person is one who agrees with God’s way of doing and being and is bold as a lion to stand for Him. 

and pray …  It seems we have decided to camp out on begging for forgiveness.  We are so consumed with our own short-comings that we can’t get past them.  We keep hunting things to repent over so we can make sure we are good enough for God to hold up His part of the bargain.  Won’t happen—ever.  We need to just accept forgiveness and move on.  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,  Philippians 3:13

and seek my face…  We have a problem.  It’s hard to seek His face when we are consumed with guilt but we will never actually get past the guilt until we seek His face, learn who He is and who we are in Him.  It’s the seeking that humbles us and makes us bold as a lion. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness…Matthew 6:33a.

and turn from their wicked ways…  Wicked ways are simply those ways that are not like God.  Notice turning from comes after humbling, praying, and seeking; not before.  It is the very act of turning to humble, pray and seek that turns us away from our wicked ways.  What we focus on, we do.

then will I hear from heaven…  God has to be deaf!  Why else do we think that He won’t hear our prayer or our church’s prayer or several churches’ prayer?  We have become focused on the numbers; if we just get enough people to pray maybe… 

and will forgive their sin…  Are we ever going to accept this at face value and move on?  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9.

and will heal their land…  It is God that does the healing; not legislation, not elections, not our rights because the healing has to come from the inside out.

So the question is:  how many of us will it take for this scripture to come to pass in our nation, state, region, county, city or church?  There are several instances in the Bible where it only took 1. 

A city—The woman at the well. John 4:39

A region—The Gadarene demonic.  Luke 8:38-40

A nation—Elijah on Mount Carmel. 1 Kings 18:17-39

A world—Paul. Acts

There are several scriptures that tell us the unity we need for things to change.

Leviticus 26:8;  5 chase 100…100 chase10,000

Matthew 18:19;  2 of you shall agree…

Matthew 18:20;  2 or 3 are gathered…I am in there

Acts 1:15;  the number of names together were about 120

So instead of looking for the 1,000s or 100,000s, why don’t we start with our 2 or 3 and change the world.

Martha-up

Martha (with sweat dripping off of her brow) had had it.  Mary could at least get off of her lazy be-hind and help.  She wanted to be sitting down, too but the work wasn’t going to get done by itself.  If Mary would help, they both could relax and enjoy the teaching.  But no…  Not only was Mary not going to help but the Master took her to task for asking!

Isn’t this the way we hear the story of Jesus at Martha’s house portrayed?  Isn’t Martha always condemned for being encumbered about with much while Mary is praised because she chose the good part?  So much so, that we have made a doctrine out of being a Martha or a Mary (with the Martha’s being much criticized).

This is the first recorded instance of Jesus being in Martha’s house but it wouldn’t be the last.  We only have a few brief facts about this story.

1. Jesus came to Bethany, Martha’s hometown

2.  Martha invited Him to her house for dinner

3.  Mary sat and listened while Martha worked

4.  Jesus commended Mary

And we have condemned Martha ever since.

But…it was practical Martha who had a house, enough food to feed the implied large group that was there and was willing to do it.  It was practical Martha who went to meet Jesus when He came after Lazarus died.  (We often condemn her for saying ‘if you’d only been here’.  We tend to forget that she added ‘but even now I know that God will give you whatever You ask’.)   It was practical Martha who went and got Mary when Jesus specifically asked to see her.

Is it obvious I like Martha?  It’s the Marthas (male or female) that keep the church clean, the lights working and the sound system going.  It’s the Marthas that get up early and stay up late preparing for that class (VBS, concert, women’s meeting, etc.).  It’s the Marthas that stand quietly in the background making sure everything goes smoothly.

My question is…why (in our minds) does it have to be one or the other?  Shouldn’t we be both?  Many hands do make light work.  Sometimes we need to be still and soak in Jesus.  Then, sometimes we need to Martha-up and get it done so we can all enjoy Jesus.

Another Day:

Father’s Day was last Sunday.  My pastor, Brian Rayburn, preached an awesome sermon on being a man after God’s heart.  Still, to me it was just a day.  My dad’s been dead for 24 years; no grandfathers or in-laws to celebrate with.  I had a friend say the same thing:  it’s just another day.  It started me thinking about how much we allow memories or events from the past to mark our days in the present. 

Mine was Mother’s Day; something I have never gotten to celebrate as a mother.  Not married until 29, 2 miscarriages, 1 hysterectomy and 1 divorce later the notion of celebrating Mother’s Day as a mother was dead.  It was not an easy death but then, deaths like those rarely are. 

I dreaded that holiday.  It was a constant barrage of advertising all pointed at reminding me I was not a mother.  At least that’s the way it seemed to me.

I dreaded going to church that Sunday because they made a big deal out of it (and rightly so).  Mothers are special (yes, Dads are too).  Still, it was hard to celebrate with the mothers while I sat in the pew knowing I would never be celebrated like that.  I don’t want to sound self-pitying, just know that it was not an easy thing to let go of but God got me through it.    

I did not become the eccentric aunt (no snide remarks from the peanut gallery) or the crazy cat lady (again, no remarks) but it was a close run thing. 

Today, I am surrounded by loving nieces and nephews (even greats).  I don’t see them often but I enjoy it when I do.  I ooh and ah over the babies (both blood and adopted), spoil them and send them home (no muss; no fuss).  Every so often, someone will ask if I would like to take one home (in a heartbeat).  I always say yes and mean it. 

I enjoy celebrating Mother’s Day ,now.  My mom passed last year but I still have Carole (ex-mother-in-law; good friend) to celebrate with. 

I wrote a song and one verse asks: 

will I let my tears and fears guide each step I take

or will I let go of my past

and be free at last

to live in the here and now

I choose the here and now.

Imaginary Conversations

We've all had them. 

Sometimes we’re practicing for a presentation or a speech and trying to prepare for any questions that come up. 

Sometimes we’re tackling a knotty problem and we ‘talk’ it over with someone we can no longer actually talk to.  We know how they would respond and that influences the outcome of the conversation and how we handle the problem.

Sometimes we’re trying to marshal our thoughts for an argument so we can drill our point home.  This conversation is a bit trickier.  Since we believe we know the other person well enough to know exactly what they're going to say, the argument ensues.  This argument can get heated enough to make us mad and keep us mad (come on, admit it) right up to the moment we have the real conversation.  We jump the person right away, they get defensive and nothing is solved.  Or worse, they say something totally off track from our imaginary argument and blow our reasoning right out of the water—which just makes us madder.  We walk away fuming and they walk away totally confused about what just happened.

The Holy Spirit has been working with me concerning these imaginary arguments to stop them before they start.  Why?  Well…because they’re imaginary and very damaging.  We can’t predict how the real conversation will go. Too much of the time (even if it is someone we are very close to), we don’t really know what is going on in their heads at that moment.  We only see it from our perspective.  Sometimes (more often than we’d like to admit), we expect them to say things we would say if we were in their shoes.  Or, we expect them to act like someone from our past.

It has been a very interesting two weeks.  Between trying to speak life (blog from two weeks ago) and this argument thing, I am having to back up and change my words—a lot.  Two Sundays ago, I told the guys in the sound booth at church that I was mouthy (already working on the speak life thing) so I was going to keep my mouth shut (only way to avoid mouthy-ness altogether).  Now this! 

So if I’m very quiet the next time you see me, you’ll know why.

My Hope

When I have one of those days or weeks or seasons, I have several go-to songs that I sing and they always lift my soul.  One of those is The Solid Rock by Edward Mots and William B. Bradbury. 

Verse 1:

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name

I distinctly remember the mental shape I was in when I asked Jesus to cleanse me and be my Lord and Savior.  It was not a good place to be.  In those baby Christian years, I often looked at the lives of people around me and wondered how they managed to live day to day without the hope of Jesus.  Many turned to alcohol or drugs.  Some turned to extreme life styles or the reckless pursuit of money. 

I started building my future, my outlook, my foundation on Jesus.  It was (and still is) a process.  There will never be a time, as long as I’m on this earth in this physical body, I am completely through building.

I thought I was a student of the Word.  I had read the Bible through several times; done chronological studies, topical studies, book studies, etc.  But, without realizing it, I always filtered it through what others said.  Yet as a Christian, the Word is supposed to be my final authority; not what someone else says about it.

Then, my foundation was knocked out from under me.  The lovely Christian house I had built fell down around my ears.  That was not a good place to be, either but it did make me look at my building process and realize I had to make the Word final authority, period.

The house I have now is not quite so structured or lovely.  To the outsider, it might even look haphazardly put together; a room added here, a porch added there.  Some of the rooms are big and square with straight walls and full of good stuff because the foundation is strong.  Some of them are small, the walls are leaning and the floors are bare because I’m still working on them.  But inside, it flows from one room to the other and I am quite comfortable in it.  It will always be shifting and changing as I grow stronger in the Word and become bolder in its authority because now…

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus…